Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize