Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
