bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize