He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
