You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
