Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
