There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
