you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
