Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

Fav 28 3006 788
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(828): View more from North Carolina

As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

Fav 85 9754 1617
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(248): View more from Michigan

I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

Fav 22 5580 1892
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(812): View more from Indiana

Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

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(619): View more from California

im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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(407): View more from Florida

There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.

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