i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize