I think I am morally bankrupt
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Found the puke drawer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
