got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
