how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
