my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
