you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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