She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
