So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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