Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize