Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
