Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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