we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
