oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize