This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize