Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
