let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
