i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
