You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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