if only i could text you this smell
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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