Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
