you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
no you cant smoke seaweed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
