she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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