i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
