margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
