Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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