I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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