Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
