yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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