is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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