Do vagina's smell?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
