I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
