My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this just has baby written all over it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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