omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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