another moral hangover. fuck.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize