I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
