that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
