There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize