Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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