I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
