im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
