I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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