Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
