She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
