omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
