A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
