Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
