Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
