don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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