I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
