It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
