Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
