I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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