can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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