No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
