...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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