He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
