i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
