Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
