I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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