Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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