I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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