I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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