Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
