youre lurking in front of me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
